All The World’s A Circus – William Thomas

So long Sparky–the mechanical mutt is scratching at the backdoor.

So your current dog can sit, roll over and give a paw? How boring. Your next dog will be able to do a double flip, dance the tango on his front legs and fist bump the UPS guy after signing … Continue reading

Pro Sport Nicknames Are Important And Silly

Nicknames are not real names. For example Tesla’s Elon Musk and his girlfriend (no known first name) Grimes just had a baby girl. Did they name her Ellen after him or Grimmy after her or the bull terrier in the … Continue reading

Tearing Down Statues–But Where Will All The Pigeons Poop?

Seriously, toppling centuries-old historic icons is wrong. Film footage of an angry mob in Bristol, England wrapping ropes around the neck of Edward Colston and hauling him to the ground was ever so revealing. First of all it was heartening … Continue reading

As We Open Things Up, I Will Miss The Shutting Down

A friend emailed me a photo of Clint Eastwood, a still shot I recognized from the movie Gran Torino in which his character, the perpetually-pissed off Walt Kowalski is sitting on his porch, draining a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon … Continue reading

This Whole COVID-19 Mess Could Be Going To The Dogs

So with President Donald Trump still trying to play a doctor on TV and Ontario opening everything up but still woefully behind in testing, with half of the public still not wearing masks and park partyers in Toronto using the … Continue reading

Lies, Scams And Snake Oil Cures Are Spreading Faster Than The Virus

As we prematurely open up our economy, thereby risking a second and more deadly wave, it’s important to remain optimistic. I mean look at all the businesses that are thriving in this new and very nervous COVID-19 world–home wine delivery, … Continue reading

If the Titanic went down today

So I’m reading Titanic–A Survivor’s Story written by  Colonel Archibald Gracie and published mere months after the “unsinkable ship” hit an iceberg near midnight on April 14, 1912.  In the dark hours that followed the collision, the ship broke apart, … Continue reading

COVID Q&A. If It’s Not The ‘How’ Then It’s The ‘Why.’ And The Answer’s Probably ‘Whatever.’

Two months into government-ordered house arrest and I’m wondering…why does a hot shower feel better than ever? A clean T-shirt like a fresh second skin? Why are my fingernails growing faster than grass and the grass is greener than a … Continue reading

Flattening The Curve And Stretching The Silver Lining

As the sadistically invisible coronavirus clouds still circle the globe in varying degrees of destructiveness, you gotta look on the bright side. Sometimes the darker the menacing shadow, the brighter the silver lining. Sure, MLB shut down and we can’t … Continue reading

The Odd, The Obscene And The Unforeseen–COVID-19

My supermarket moment. As I walk through the automatic doors at Sobey’s in Dunnville, a kid steps into my path. I throw out my hands thinking he’s going to sanitize me. I’m also thinking…I’m the one wearing the mask. Shouldn’t … Continue reading