All The World’s A Circus – William Thomas

Port Colborne – ”The Store-Front Car-Crash Capital Of Canada.”

It happened again! I’m looking at Page 6 of the July 25th edition of this newspaper which shows a photo that has become all too familiar to residents of the city of Port Colborne; namely the ass end of a … Continue reading

Sports – A Really Bad Metaphor For Life

You know what’s wrong with sports today? Underwater hockey. And chess boxing, really bad officiating, drug cheaters, too many games, tickets that cost the same as your first car, violence, concussions, a new baseball rule in which a batter can … Continue reading

There’s A Special Place In Hell For…Everybody!

I could not agree more with European Union President Donald Tusk who said: “I have been wondering what the special place in Hell looks like for those who promoted Brexit without even a sketch of a plan how to carry … Continue reading

Rating The World’s Best Jokes By Country

Some years ago, Dr. Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire enlisted the British Association for the Advancement of Science to determine the world’s best joke. Named project Laughlab, they invited the public to submit their favorite jokes and using … Continue reading

Eat. Race. Love. The Legend Of “The Zipster” Lives On.

Everytime I get a Zippy Chippy Alert on the screen of my computer I’m convinced the poor old bugger has passed away. But no, he lives on at the precarious age of 28 not knowing that few horses ever make … Continue reading

My Fan Club May Be Small But It’s Also…Disloyal

As I’ve said in the past, as a writer it’s great to have fans Like the clerk at Coles bookstore in London, Ontario, who, after I autographed 15 copies of Hey! Is That Guy Dead or Is He The Skip? … Continue reading

Aging By Medical Survey-It Never Dagnabbit Fails!

As my mother Margaret used to say when the toast hit the kitchen floor jam-side-down: “It never dagnabbit fails.” And trust me as you get older the toast hits the floor more often, your glasses find new and strange places … Continue reading

Highlights of “The Amazing Raptors Bandwagon Ride”

Oh Canada – what a magical, crazy coast-to-coast Raptor ride it was through 60 urban Jurassic Parks, 36 Cineplex movie theatres, thousands of bars bending the fire code and 7.7 million of us screaming “YES!” at our television sets from … Continue reading

Barbecuing – Man’s Failed Search For Identity

It has always been thought that men began cooking outdoors as suburban living crept across North America in the 1940s and 1950s. It was, they said, an act to assert men’s masculinity. No, sorry. Men barbecue because it’s in our … Continue reading

Suddenly, Spring Is The New Winter

I think I lost my spring cleaning list … in a snowbank. Cold, cloudy, rainy, foggy, damp, drizzly and whatever the meteorological term for ‘blah’ is, this spring has given us an inkling of what it would be like to … Continue reading