All The World’s A Circus – William Thomas

Mr. Mirko Bilsic-fix Bell Canada!

I’m sure Mr. Bilsic, as the Chief Executive Officer of Bell Canada, you believe everything is dandy. You have an annual income of three billion dollars, consistent dividend growth and strong capital reserves. You and your board of directors must … Continue reading

♪Always look on the bright side of…COVID-19♪

So some guy on the other side of the earth with peculiar taste buds eats a bat and before he can belch, the global economy crashes, cruise ships become floating prisons, two billion surgical masks go on back order, people … Continue reading

How Was Your Day? Mine? Well It Was A Wednesday And…

I’m rushing to an early morning appointment with a St. Catharines dermatologist because apparently, I have actinic keratosis which sounds like acne with a side of halitosis but no–it’s like rosacea only worse. I’m sitting in the waiting room and … Continue reading

It’s The Pessimists, Not The Meek That Will Inherit The Earth

Asbestos, Quebec is changing its name to dissociate itself from all the deadly illnesses it’s open-pit mining caused. The people of Asbestos have reason to be pessimistic. In Haight, California, Haight Elementary School just changed its name to Love Elementary. … Continue reading

Statistics That Will Make Your Eyes Pop Out!

And before we get started, 50% of people who have Graves disease also suffer from Proptosis, an ophthalmology condition in which your eyes pop out. Statistics–meaningless and boring facts that are ruining everything we watch, read or listen to. Baseball … Continue reading

My Own Self-Imposed Travel Ban Due To Severe Brain Cramps

After many years of international travel, I’m thinking that particular part of my life should probably come to a close. Looking back at the highlight reel of my globetrotting days I have come to the conclusion that I might be … Continue reading

As Hockey Goes After It’s Abusers, Is It Too Late To Censure Bobby Clarke?

The National Hockey League, the “whitest” league in professional sports, finds itself in a crisis mode with charges of past racial, emotional and physical abuse of players. First, Calgary Flames coach Bill Peters was fired for repeatedly using the “n-word” … Continue reading

Canadians Are On The Move! And Headed For Hell In Some Very Unique Ways

Canada is a nation of movers but not necessarily shakers. We are people of action but with no guarantee of satisfaction. We are men in motion, perpetual but not always purposeful and women think that’s so damn funny, they’re constantly … Continue reading

Inextricably Drawn Together– Donald J. Trump And The Toilet

So after starting a trade war with China and threatening France with the same, after personally attacking Prime Minister Justin Trudeau then escalating the war with Iran by assassinating their defense minister, after assisting Turkey in their war against his … Continue reading

Royals to Canada? Good luck with Canada Customs!

A Canada Customs arrival booth, Vancouver International Airport, Vancouver. January 23, 2020. “NEXT!” Custom agent: “Just the two of you travelling together?” “Yes sir. We had a baby but we left him…where’d we leave him, honey? Oh yeah, in some … Continue reading